Gorge

Am I jumping

from one side

of the Grand Canyon

to the other side

or am I just trying

to buy a cheerful gift

for my eighty-year-old

brother who is feeling

the layers of fatigue

as he continues to deal

with chronic malignancies

that have changed the landscape

for all of us

I just can’t bring myself

to buy a smiling crocheted

emotional support pickle

with a sign to tell him

he is a big dill

who is deeply loved

I just can’t buy him a book

that will tell him how

to be happy as he travels

through this black cave

I have never stepped foot in

I am momentarily inclined

to buy a candle with a note

that says this

smells better than the shit

he’s going through

but I look past that honesty

beginning to see

why speechless flowers

may help me get

to where I’m going